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pearshaped (2001)

by nev clay

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1.
pearshaped 04:07
here at the laser clinic, we see a lot of these tattoos: andy cole in black and white before he moved on to Man U. I had a tattoo too, but it went pearshaped like me and you. what a lovely dream - someone staying on your team for more than a season without looking for a transfer deal. i was on a team, but it went pearshaped like me and you. liam and patsy, noel and meg matthews had a lovely dream, and the lovely dream came true. then it assumed a familiar shape, like your diet, like my degree, like this haircut, like me and you.
2.
staff room 04:16
she's a schoolteacher. she gets great holidays. she's in the trade union and strikes against performance pay. she sells the socialist worker on saturday afternoons. the board of governors hope she puts in for a transfer soon. the headmistress fears her, but fancies her just the same. the kids in the corridors make fun of her irish name. the caretaker dreams about her, and he waves as she parks her car. the dinnerladies say she's alright for a southerner. some of the girls in the 6th form would love to be her friend, some of the boys in the 5th form want to be something else. they see her down at Foundation, drinking grolsch and dancing there, she's 29 but still puts henna on her hair. she lives with a bloke who's in the Animal Liberation Front. he likes to liberate rabbits and sabotage a hunt. officially he's a vegan, but sometimes he eats cheese. he wears Levellers t-shirts, does the washing and cooks the tea. they met at university doing history and politics. he did her a C90 of Nick Cave "kicking against the pricks". they used to live in fenham, but now they live in forest hall. they've got two cats and have no interest in football. there's nothing i can teach her, nothing i can do or say to make her life any better so i keep out of her way. there's nothing i want to take from her except the eczema on her hands. she drinks tea and smokes bensons, and that's all i understand.
3.
4.
your dad sells lighters outside the market. he fills them in the evening sitting in the kitchen. your mother does her best, but everything tastes of petrol. maybe that's why you fancy the boy who gives you free ciggies at the allnight garage. your uncle davy asks strangers for money. he says he's lost his busfare, but his pockets are jingling. he smells of sandwich shops and bus-station toilets. maybe that's why you don't like the bloke who drives the mini-bus to the 6th form college you go to. your dodgy half-brother says work is for wankers, but he goes out in a ski-mask at half past two in the morning. now every room in the house is full of DVD players. maybe that's why you want to be a travel rep and spend the rest of your life as far away from them as possible.
5.
call centre 03:38
there's a building on the green belt like a space-age aerodrome, they've got a headset with your name on it linked to a telephone, and your jobseekers' advisor has arranged an interview, so you can read from a script on the twilight shift: the call centre is calling you...
6.
You're doing a sponsored walk of the ocean floor now While miles above your little icebergs are melting But it's going to take so long to make these waters Safe for their tiny boats to come and find you
7.
serendipity 03:10
The first year I decided not to send a Xmas card The first year you sent one to me Now what's the chances of that happening Serendipity And it had to be the evening When I gave up on you You decide to ring out of the blue Now what's the chances of that happening Serendipity At exactly the same moment That I stopped loving you You finally got round to loving me Now what's the chances of that happening Serendipity
8.
scratchcard 04:26
You bought a scratchcard and gave it to your mother She won a fortune and walked out on your father Now she's living with the headmistress From your local community college You bought a scratchcard and gave it to your father He won a fortune but blew it on the horses He consoled himself with super-strong lager And now he's waiting for a liver transplant So you decided to buy yourself a scratchcard You didn't win but you got into the habit And now the people from the catalogue are coming They're going to repossess your CD player
9.
rollover 04:01
I trip over a push-chair in the frozen food shop And the chippy opens for breakfast at ten o'clock Outside Joe Corals, kids on silver scooters Eat cheese pasties and wait for their grandads A little dog is tethered next to the chemists But it's too early to put the lottery on Because sometime today, between now and seven The magic numbers will be revealed to me And it's so good To be missing Someone else For a change
10.
Above the sleeping council flats a helicopter flies - like me, it's searching in the dark, as another day goes by. The kids outside the off-licence are asking me to buy a pack of 20 Superkings, as another day goes by. The midnight Metro pulls away, I look into the sky and throw my ticket on the tracks, as another day goes by. At dawn, a silver vapour trail lights up the purple sky, and as I wonder where you are, another day goes by.
11.
she's heard of MX-80 Sound. takes taxis, loves the Underground. English literature degree, she's addicted to hyperbole. In the sticks for a field report, enthusiasm set at nought,she can't help looking bored, she's sick of powerchords. She's got a sack full of demos she doesn't want to listen to - looks at the crappy covers, skims through a track or two. White lines, no appetite, teen angst is in again tonight. Thesaurus and a dictaphone, all she wants is a wave to call her own.
12.
for the face you were born with, i've been a fool. i was looking for a reason to get up in the morning in the eyes you were given by your mother and father when they were looking for reasons of their own. i was looking for answers to irrelevant questions in the eyes you were given by your mother and father when they were looking for answers of their own. i was looking for something to change the way i've been feeling in the eyes you were given by your mother and father when they were looking for something of their own. i've been a fool.

about

reissue of long unavailable CD from the early years of the century, this one with an alternative "Amazing Grace" version of that problematic Hank Williams homage ("Lonesome Longbenton") that the copyright holders Acuff-Rose advised me against releasing.

credits

released September 21, 2011

featuring nev, phil tyler on drums and fiddle, richard dawson on jaw harp, annie smith and jill stewart on bv's. original cd also featured the lovely lap-steel of jon lee and bvs by anth keenan and john anderson of the soul messengers. engineered by tony davis at cluny studios spring 2001.

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nev clay Newcastle, UK

Nev lives near Newcastle and until 2018 was a mental health nurse. He's been clarting around the local music scene for 30 years, and once supported Keith Emerson out of ELP. Cover photo - Stan Bonnar concrete hippo, Killingworth, Newcastle, photo by Narbi Price 3 Jan 2023. Secret guitar tuning: CGDGAD ... more

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